Fifties Photoshop
Back in the fifties before they had photoshop they used to use paint. Not MSPaint, actual paint. Crazy huh? Still, it beats the alternative - a realistic depiction of female beauty in the media. That'd be terrible.
 
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You've passed out due to one to many root beers and your friends have taken the liberty of abusing your comatose body. Most of this abuse you wouldn't want to be awake for but fear not, there will lots of photos.
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Forget everything you have ever learned about bespecled ladies, it's all lies. These four eyed females are some of the most freakiest, wildest women around. Don’t you want to know what is really behind those thick-rimmed spectacles?
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The burning question here is "would you or wouldn't you?" Do you have the confidence to date a woman who could physically overpower you in any conceivable way possible? Put like that it doesn't sound too bad.
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This is the outcome if advertising agencies are given far too much of their client's money to spend. The result is some creative thinking that goes so far out of the box that anything ordinary just looks boring.
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Everyone loves bacon, except for maybe religious types and vegetarians, but they don't really count as people anyway. The rest of us love bacon and aren't afraid to say it. Then there are these guys, who take it a little too far...
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A colorful collection of wasted women who still manage to look cute with their heads stuck down the toilet bowl & vomit coming out of their mouths! It's amazing there was still someone left standing to capture this with a camera!
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Obligatory NOMs all round, I could probably manage 2 or 3 with some fried onions. But after that I would've had my fill and I'd probably move on to a nice tasty dessert of chocolate cheese cat. Then maybe some bees and biscuits.
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It might not be the most original fancy dress costume, but it's pretty easy to put together and pretty damn effective. All you need is a face, a knife, some guts and a zipper to glue to your face afterwards. Enjoy!
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A perfect derrière is just like a succulent steak, something you want to get your teeth into but it has to meet the following criretia: Juicy, no fat and something that just melts in your mouth!
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Trust good old Mother Nature to come up with millions of years of evolution to produce some of the most beautiful natural monuments the planet has ever seen - I would gladly plant a flag on ALL of them. I would. Really.
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